Life Stage Planning: A guide for your journey

Achieving financial goals is like running a marathon. It starts with small steps and gradually builds as you learn how to discipline yourself. Each step along the way brings a sense of achievement. Each financial accomplishment builds understanding and self-confidence, which prepares you for another success and the one after that. For a beginner, the prospect of a 26-mile race is daunting. Those who pull it off start by doing some serious research, getting the right gear, eating proper diet, training, and finding a coach or mentor who can improve their chances of being successful. They set reasonable goals and have patience. It is not always easy, but a disciplined approach allows them to reach a point where they enjoy running. The attitudes that make a novice into a successful marathon runner are similar to the ways successful investors approach finances. Preparation and planning makes it possible to reach their goals.

Understanding strategies for each stage of your life will help build sound financial plans that make your goals achievable. While events like remarrying or changing careers can happen at any time, most investors need to understand three main life stages.

Postscript to my first change on the road toward financial serenity

Today I continue to tackle one small goal at a time. Sometimes it’s financial; sometimes it’s personal; sometimes it’s professional. Deeper self-awareness and new actions are gradually emerging – sometimes easily, sometimes painfully. Along the way, I’ve learned two essential lessons: first, financial serenity is a state of mind; and second, genuine abundance is a state of belief. Those spiritual truths give life fulfillment regardless of what life brings.

My mid-life quest challenges me to discover and savor the rest of my life. The best years are yet to come!

My first small change ... and the payoff!

You can change an undesirable habit by committing to change the patterns of how you think. What you consciously think about over and over again can reinforce positive thoughts in your subconscious before you make a bad financial choice. New habits can become a part of you in as few as 40 days. Believe that you can counter and overcome unwanted financial behaviors to develop a stronger spiritual awareness. Start by making one small change at a time.

Mary Anne proposed an experiment. For 40 days, I committed myself to gaining financial serenity by accomplishing one goal in my financial life. I would consciously halt my procrastination and handle incoming personal financial paperwork.

There were days when I regretted, even resented, my commitment to wield my letter opener on a daily basis. Sometimes it meant facing my fears to call others to figure out what I was looking at. The payoff came when my accountant brother called to incredulously say, “not bad,” after he opened my organized income tax package. In previous years, my tax records mess had led to heated phone calls and extensions.

It was a small victory over a bad habit. Then I recalled some of the spiritual values I had unearthed in my clarity exercise: caring for family, independence, personal growth and fulfillment. I was affirming my spiritual truths on my way to financial serenity!

Uncovering money choice secrets

Clarity is about understanding how our values relate to money. Consider these questions:
• What kinds of prosperity do you see in your life?
• What is important about money to you?
• How does it contribute to your “prosperity?”
• Why is that important?
• What higher spiritual truth or value does that importance lead you to?

Answers to those questions revealed my values relating to money. If prosperity is having what you truly need and want, then experiencing life with my children fit the bill. Money provides me with the ability to take care of our needs. Taking care of my family within our means gives me independence. Independence permits me to engage in self-directed options for our lives. Exercising options leads to personal growth and fulfillment.

Clarity helped me recognize that the values of family, caring, independence, options, growth, and fulfillment are my spiritual truths. By understanding my spiritual truths and accepting personal responsibility for my financial life, I was ready to begin action steps to achieve financial serenity.

CLARITY ... uncovering inner values that shape financial choices

Exercising honesty leads to CLARITY of thought. Understanding how money memories spur actions today is absolutely necessary to change undesirable money habits. The path to financial serenity does not begin in your accountant’s office. It begins in your head and your heart, through your thoughts and your feelings.

Money touches everything in our lives. It influences our relationships, affects our day-to-day activities, impacts our hopes and dreams, and fuels our fears. Whether or not we admit it, most of us carry seeds of money anxieties and fears. It is fear that gives money power over us – fear of too little, fear of managing it, fear of loss.

Financial serenity does not depend on the amount money you have. Authentic abundance is a state of belief. No amount of money can guarantee a feeling of prosperity or emotional security. Those feelings are an inside job. Financial serenity happens when you have power over your fears, instead of the other way around. That power comes from the center of our being, from the CLARITY of knowing who we really are.

HONESTY ... taking the first step in changing money habits

The first and most important step in changing money habits is to become aware of them and to HONESTLY acknowledge them. This will help you recognize negative patterns of behavior. You can change an undesireable habit by committing to change the patterns of how you think. What you consciously think about over and over again can reinforce positive thoughts in your subconxcious BEFORE you make a financial choice.

A new habit can become a part of you in just 40 days. Start by making one small action change at a time. BELIEVE that deeper self-awareness and conscious actions will lead to your spiritual truths to give your life fulfillment regardless of what life brings.

Step #1: HONESTY
Honesty uncovers subconscious feelings about money. Think about this simple exercise:
• What is your earliest childhood recollection of money?
• What did your parents (or other adults) discuss about money?
• How do these memories make you feel?
• How do those memories influence your financial decisions today?

My earliest recollections of money related to the ebb and flow of my father’s self-employment. He turned money over to Mom. She rigidly controlled household finances to stay out of debt and to ensure a cushion for perpetual rainy days. Mom’s deep money anxieties stemmed from growing up during the Depression. Splurging outside the budget was always tinged with guilt. I grew up with contradictory feelings – confidence in the financial security at home and an undercurrent of fear of impending disaster.

Looking back, I can see that those childhood feelings affected my adult money habits. Laboring to ensure financial security, I became a workaholic. I relinquished responsibility for household finances to my spouse, but fear of unplanned expenses triggered horrific arguments. Guilt curtailed personal purchases for myself, but I rationalized overindulging my children. It was painful to see that I was a product of my past, but new awareness meant that I didn’t have to be a prisoner of it.

Feelings fuel money habits

Everyone makes money mistakes — the trick is to not repeat them. But that is easier said than done.

Discovering the emotions behind your spending habits will help you understand how you might evolve, get past the urges and simplify your life choices. If you understand how bad habits formed, you can set about to change them. You can change any habit by changing what you think about it. Focus on what you truly need or genuinely cherish, not only in respect to material possessions, but in work, relationships and leisure. People who manage to simplify have found their emotional truths. Simplicity is an inside job.

When it comes to money, people sometimes mistakenly associate simplicity with poverty. It’s not about doing without; rather it’s about having enough. It’s about figuring out what level of material possessions is enough for you. This will vary from person to person. Being wealthy isn’t bad, but perhaps we don’t need as much materially as our American culture would have us believe.

Review your spending habits by bringing to mind each of several areas, including work, your relationships or family, your finances, your leisure, your possessions, your goals, your spiritual life. One by one, as each area comes to mind, ask yourself the following questions: What would it be like to simplify this part of my life? What could I let go of easily? What could I do to make this part of my life more quiet and simple?

Reflect on the choices that present themselves. It may be a good idea to jot them down on paper. Let the words flow without censoring or editing the content. The purpose is to generate a variety of life choices. Later go back and read what you wrote. Notice which options feel immediately comfortable and which feel difficult or frightening. The object is not to change anything immediately. At first, simply note where you desire more simplicity in your life and where it is possible. How can you make room for simplicity? Take the time to become aware of what steps you might take and then make a resolution to make changes in each area. Discovering your emotional attitudes about spending will help you envision how you want to evolve, simplify your choices about money and create a money personality that is self-confident and prudent.

What is your money personality?

Everyone makes money mistakes — the trick is to not repeat them. But that is easier said than done.

One-third of all consumers are influenced in their shopping decisions by emotional factors, such as fun, excitement, stress or stress reduction, concern for family welfare—the list of emotions is endless. And emotions often start below the level of awareness. Reactions occur without conscious knowledge, and even if we don’t fully understand or articulate our feelings our bodies continually appraise our surroundings, respond and create minor or major urges. And urges often lead to spending blunders.

Each person has a different idea of happiness. Each of us has certain items that speak to him as a token of fulfillment. Someone who strives hard to get ahead may fall into a trap of buying things, because other people expect it. His car/home/wardrobe has to match his accomplishments, and he ends up spending money in ways that do not make financial sense.

Consider the following spending traits. Do any of these personalities describe you?

IMPULSIVE BUYER
— Seldom comparison shops. Buys on a whim. Tip: Leave the store! Nine times out of ten, you won’t return for the item.

FANATICAL SHOPPER
— Spends excessive energy to save a few dollars. Tip: Remember that time is money — don’t spend $50 of time to save $5.

PASSIVE BUYER
— Dislikes shopping. Doesn’t comparison shop. Tip: Question the authority of salespeople. Remember it’s your hard-earned money.

AVOIDANCE SHOPPER
— Shops to “escape.” Tip: Try exercising or playing with your kids instead.

ESTEEM BUYER
— Buys to gain peers’ approval. Tip: Gain your own esteem by conquering spending mistakes.

OVERDONE BUYER
— Spends excessively on a habit, hobby or collection. Tip: Identify the underlying causes (e.g., boredom); ask a friend or a professional for help.

HOT POTATO BUYER
— Delays making decisions and then reacts impulsively. Tip: Take time to educate yourself before making important financial decisions.

"The longest journey starts with the first step"

The observation above is attributed to Confucious, an ancient Chinese philosopher. My path toward changing my financial habits was an unknown. I wasn't sure where to begin. Mary Anne urged me to explore my feelings about money to unroot my fears and inhibitions.

My changes didn't occur overnight, but they all started with HONESTY.

Many of our money habits are so ingrained that we unconsciously, and repeatedly, make bad financial choices. The first and most important step to change them is to become aware of or our habits and to honestly acknowledge them. It means being alert to our feelings, thoughts, needs and longings.

We women have a lot to unlearn. It may be painful and will take time, but honesty makes us take a deep look at the realities of our financial behaviors. Avoidance and self-deception are formidable barriers, but the incredible power of self-awareness is that it can nurture commitment to change, growth and personal accountability.

Getting a grip on personal financial money management through simplicity and spirituality

How do simplicity and spirituality relate to getting a grip on personal financial management?

Choosing simplicity means voluntarily focusing on what we truly need or genuinely value in material possessions, work and relationships. When it comes to money, some women mistakenly equate simplicity with poverty. It’s not about doing without. Simplicity is about figuring out what is enough for you.

Women who simplify will find their spiritual truths. At its core, spirituality is the intuitive sense that all things fit together even when you’re fearful that things are falling apart. A search for spirituality is a search for direction when life’s expectations come up short. My spark was a divorce from my business partner husband. It shattered stagnant assumptions about my financial well-being and future.

It was hard to face my truths. No one would magically rescue me from my mountain of unopened financial papers. A healthy bank account wasn’t bad, but perhaps my children and I didn’t need as many material things as our consumer culture advocated. My money attitudes and habits had to change. My professional life had taken a detour, but I was a capable woman who could channel her talents in new, more satisfying directions.

Discovering my spiritual truths about money helped me glimpse how I wanted to evolve. I began to simplify my life choices. This tapped an inner source of well being, a faith that prosperity is possible regardless of economic situation. The freedom and joy of financial serenity began to germinate.

Why Women? Why Now?

I'm surfing the tsunami swell of the Baby Boom generation – those born between 1946 and 1964.

Turning 50 might have signaled going over the hill for our mothers, but not for boomer women like Mary Anne and me. After all, we are better educated, generally economically optimistic and more comfortable in our independence and individuality than any other generation of women before us.

And more power to us, the American Woman! According to a 2005 survey that was conducted by FGI Research for "Town & Country" readers:
• Approximately 42 million women are aged forty to sixty. (Next Tuesday, 10/24/06, our population will hit 300 million.)
• Women solely or jointly own 87 percent of homes.
• Women control or influence 80 percent of consumer purchases.
• By 2010, 60 percent of wealth will be controlled by women.
• Boomer women are six times more likely to share responsibility for savings and investment than their mothers were.
• Full-time college enrollment by older women has increased by 32 percent in the past decade.

But there are other compelling statistics. According to "Time" magazine, February 6, 2006:
• 58 percent of women in the baby boom generation have less than $10,000 saved in a pension or 401(k) plan.
• 87 percent of impoverished elderly are women.
• Having failed to save sufficiently for retirement, the average woman born between 1946 and 1964 will probably have to work until the age of 74.

Many over 50 are awash in debt, they constantly rearrrange priorities and avoid acknowledging their aging bodies. Boomer actions, and inactions, continue to direct our world. None of us has intended to mess anything up. In fact, the goals we imagined in our youth were generally noble. But then, we've always assumed time was on our side to pay off our credit cards and sock enough away for a comfortable retirement.

Despite these concerns, many boomer women refuse to be sucked into the stereotyped despair of mid-life crisis. For them, life continues to be an exploration. They share a a hunch that the best years are yet to come. Instinctively women our age recognize that the simplicity and spirituality are the path to that destination.

Women's Financial Serenity helps women find that path.