Disguised purchases ... who are we kidding?

It's an age-old practice. Women disguising purchases by paying with cash.

A recent New York Times News Service story struck a nerve. It was about financially independent women paying cash for personal indulgences to head off arguments with husbands or boyfriends. I remembered doing the same thing when I was married.

Reporter Shivani Vora cited a number of reasons for the subterfuge. Some women just didn't want to "get into it" with their partners over a luxury purchase. Some expressed a sense of freedom when pulling the wool over their partner's eyes. Others said it was easier to "forget" their guilt they if a credit card bill didn't come.

If we are financially independent, why do we do these things?

I learned about hiding money from my mom. She was always tucking something away from her household cash. She was a child of the Depression and saved for the perpetual rainy day. One of her legendary comments (learned from HER mother), was, "If it's not a necessity, you can wait till you have the cash." Of course, a luxury item to her was a dryer, but even that expenditure was accompanied by great guilt.

I don't think I ever "hid" a personal purchase from my ex-husband, but I do remember understating the actual cost. Yup ... it was the fear of confrontation that made me do it.

Today, I am my mom. I tuck away cash and try to save for the "luxuries," but I do it because I am committed to trying to manage my "real" financial resources. I don't deny myself personal purchases, I just pause before taking the monetary plunge.

Facing my fears, self denial and impulses when it comes to spending money is hard work. I don't always like it, but the "internal" payoff is feeling good about myself.

And THAT'S good!